Travelling with Family as an Adult
EPISODE 75 — 15 MARCH 2025
ABOUT THE EP
Travelling with your parents or family as a child can be completely different than travelling with them as an adult. We reflect on our recent family trips and how our priorities and roles have shifted with age.
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A lot of quality time with them.
We had a lot of, like, conversations, like quality conversations.
0:17
And I never talked to my parents in that way.
Yeah.
You know, when you're home, you kind of take them for granted.
It's just like, what's for dinner?
What time are you coming home like that to provide?
But like, being overseas or enjoy food together, Like, be like, interested in the same things and like talking to our relatives together.
0:32
So it was kind of nice to just be like, friends.
With my parents, yeah.
Hi friends, welcome to our podcast A Seat at Our Table.
Candid conversations about the creative pursuits of Asian Australians.
I'm Tracy.
I'm Wendy.
0:48
We saved your seat.
Come join us.
Hey everyone.
Welcome back to the podcasts.
Today we're gonna be talking about travelling with family, and this is drawing on recent experience from myself.
I went to Vietnam with my family last year, and Tracy very, very, very recently went to China.
1:07
Yeah.
So we're gonna talk about our experiences of what it's like to travel with our family as adults and how it has changed from travelling as kids.
It's been a different, very different experience.
Yeah, I mean, yours is gonna be like so fresh.
1:22
In your mind, yeah.
Do you still remember yours?
Yeah, kind of.
But I think we had really different experiences because I was travelling to Vietnam, where my parents were born, and they've thrived there because like, they're so comfortable.
Yeah, it's like a second home for.
Them, right.
1:37
Yeah, And whereas you were travelling to a completely new country.
Yeah, it was more of a we've never been as a family, we've never been to China before, so it's more of a new experience.
It would have probably been different if we travelled to Vietnam, yeah.
So when was the last time that you travelled with your family?
1:54
Yeah.
I guess we really covered that, but I just came back from China with my family.
But before that, I actually don't remember the last time I travelled with my immediate family other than my sisters and my cousins.
My parents haven't gone overseas since I was in primary school.
That's crazy.
When they went back to Vietnam and that was the last time, like, and basically it's been 20 years or something like that since they've gone out of the country just because of like work and not being able to afford to go overseas and everything.
2:22
So it's definitely was a brand new experience for me.
Yeah.
What about you?
For me, last time I travelled with my parents was in May 2024.
We all decided to go because my cousin was getting married.
So everyone in my family went except my elder sister.
2:40
And the last time I travelled was my parents specifically was actually exchange.
Oh, wait, no, it wasn't.
No, no, no, it was.
We went to Singapore, Vietnam with my parents in 2019, right before COVID.
Yeah, yeah, I've travelled with my parents, actually probably more than my sisters have.
2:59
Yeah.
And like travelled to like new countries with them.
So I've kind of done the, like, leading with them.
But this time around, it was more like them leading us because we'll go back to their home.
Country.
Did they go to exchange with?
You.
Yeah.
They came to visit me, in fact.
I remember that.
Wow.
3:14
Yeah.
OK, so they're very well travelled then?
Yeah.
I mean, like they managed to make it all the way there to see me, which was really nice.
But that in itself was also like a different experience because I had to show them everything.
And I think Europe is just like, so foreign to our parents, completely foreign.
3:32
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'll draw on some of that.
Yeah, I think you'll have a couple of experiences to draw from.
Yeah, because I only have the one which was the most recent one.
So let's reflect on the most recent trip you had with your family.
How was it from I guess the lead up to it to the trip and then post trip?
3:48
Yeah, I guess it was a really different from what it's been like.
I think it was the first time I've travelled with myself, my parents and my two other sisters.
On other occasions it's either been my parents and me or my parents, myself and my little sister.
4:04
So the dynamic has been like, I guess like different every time I've travelled with them.
But this was the first time it felt like the entire family as adults.
Yeah.
So at the beginning or in the lead up, I did everything for my parents.
I booked them their flights, they organised everything else.
4:21
Like typically we would normally stay with my auntie, yeah, and uncle, but because there was so many of us, there was a room.
So we actually had to book like hotels for the first time.
And it was a little bit chaotic at the start because the accommodation, which my parents book wasn't very good quality.
4:38
Like it was kind of like mouldy inside and like they didn't know what to expect because someone in Vietnam actually booked it for them.
And obviously our standards are very different.
So that was like kind of like a problem at the very start when we arrived.
And I think everyone was tired.
And grumpy, the worst thing is having a bad accommodation to come home too.
4:56
Yeah, so.
We had to sort that out pretty much as soon as possible.
So that was the first little bump in the trip.
But I think eventually everything kind of like fell into place.
We got all of that sorted.
But I think just naturally when you spend so much time with your family, it's only normal to get annoyed at them, especially because you as an adult probably have your own space now.
5:19
We were all living separately.
We had all moved out except my little sister.
So it led to like, I guess some little arguments here and there and just like remembering how to like coexist with each other again, right?
But after that, I think we, after we settled in, we, we enjoyed the time together because I think we recognise that like, we're here for a really big milestone for my cousin who we grew up with and the fact that he was getting married and there would be like the tea ceremony and everything was really lovely.
5:48
It was like a very wholesome time because I felt like a very big reunion for us and our extended family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think it was, yeah, really nice to just come together and see everything from the lens of like an adult because like, we just have more life experience now and you're just having more like, mature conversations with your relatives.
6:09
It's not like, you know, when you're a kid, it's just like, oh, what do you want to eat?
Yeah, or you just follow your parents around.
Yeah, You don't even have your own conversations.
You just like playing games.
Or something.
Yeah.
And so much all the time.
I was just hanging out with my sisters as well.
So I think yeah, we were experiencing things together, like figuring out what to eat because my parents were literally delicious left off and just went and did everything because, you know, like parents who've been.
6:30
I think a lot of people can relate.
They just go off and they buy a bunch of.
Shit, yeah.
So they know.
Exactly what they need.
Yeah.
My mom always has, like, an agenda.
Yes.
Yeah.
And she's always like meeting up with like her friends.
Yeah, because they can, like, actually live independently in Vietnam.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't need you to be with them.
If anything, we were the ones who were like, what do we do?
6:47
Yeah, yeah, we need you to speak the language for.
Us.
Yeah, yeah.
But I guess, like, my experience was a little bit different for my sisters because I actually had the luxury of spending a week in Ho Chi Minh CBD with my boyfriend.
And normally when we go back to Vietnam, we only stay in Jonong, which is when my parents grew up.
7:07
And that's like 30 minutes out from CBD.
So I never experienced Vietnam as a tourist.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So when Chris came over, I booked a hotel in CBD, and we were able to do, like, the more tourists and stuff, and I was able to, like, go to shops.
And normally my parents, even as a grown adult, nearly 30 years old, they're just so scared because they're scared like, you know, someone's gonna snatch.
7:27
Out.
Yeah, scammed.
Yeah, get scammed because they know instantly that you're not from there.
Yep.
So it was nice being able to live kind of like as a tourist yes without like my parents being too American, especially my mom yeah.
But I think after the trip, like my post trip feelings were like I was really grateful for like, I guess like being able to come together as family because of my cousin's like milestone.
7:52
A lot of my cousins moved away for work.
Yeah, to different Southeast Asian countries and seeing everyone again in the same place.
But as adults, like, yeah, you just see things a little bit differently.
You see how like the life that they've built up and you can have better conversations.
8:08
It kind of gives you perspective on what your life could have been if you had to migrate to Australia.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I think coming back, I was just really grateful for my cousins.
We have like a little Facebook chat going on now.
And yeah, I think also it allowed me to kind of see the struggle that some of them were going through because it's it's not an easy life.
8:29
Yeah.
And it made me more grateful for like the life that we have here.
Yeah.
And I think you just have like little conversations about comparing like life here, life over there.
And it's like those little conversations are quite like, enlightening.
Yeah, to have like, you know, to compare and contrast your lives.
Yeah.
8:45
Yeah, I think it was a good trip and I'd like I don't have any bad memories.
Of it.
That's really, yeah, that's.
How about you?
Yeah, I had a really good trip as well.
So full background on the trip is I went to China with my parents, my two younger sisters, my younger cousin and my two other cousins.
9:02
We had mixed up group because we were supposed to go to China for a family wedding that got moved out a month because of like family issues.
So we had it like this was the group that already pre booked our flights.
So we were supposed to go for a wedding but we end up just making a trip out of it Like no point cancelling the flight or anything might as well go.
9:22
So my immediate family, so my parents, my sisters and I and my younger cousin, we've never been to China before.
So it was a very brand new experience.
So for background, my grandparents is we're like, we're originally from China, but my parents were born in Vietnam and we have some extended family in China which we've never like been back to meet before.
9:47
So my grandpa's sister's family is over there.
And I just, I think I was just like, so like I just had no expectations of the trip at all.
And in the lead up tour, because we were travelling in the new year and it was so busy with Christmas and the New Year's and everything, I feel like nothing was planned for a very long time.
10:06
Like nobody was taking initiative to plan it.
So I think it was a little bit last minute, like deciding what to do and everything because the agenda completely changed from wedding to like holiday.
So we're there for two weeks and I think the leader, like, I feel like maybe me and my sisters end up planning a lot of it.
10:24
And that was like the initial part where I was like, I'm, I'm annoyed, you know, like I was like, I feel like I'm planning the whole trip, you know, but then that was like for me to check in and go, actually, I like, I shouldn't complain about that.
Like I don't, I don't, I have the time.
Like I'll just, I'll just plan it, whatever, right?
The benefit is that we're going to do what we want to do for planning it.
10:41
So I just thought it was going to be a chaotic trip because we don't speak Mandarin.
It's like going to China where they don't speak English.
I knew there was going to be a language barrier.
I haven't travelled with my parents in a long time.
And like you said, your family can get very annoying.
10:57
So I didn't know what to expect.
But the trip actually turned out so much better than I expected.
And I was, like, pleasantly surprised with the behaviour of my family.
You know, like, I think everyone was like, really great.
It wasn't too stressful.
It just really surprised me.
11:13
Like, the experience in China was very memorable and like, really special.
And we're actually going to do a separate episode after this about like, reconnecting with your home, your motherland, your mother country or whatnot.
But in general, it was really good.
Didn't get really too sick of everyone, but a little bit sick of everyone.
11:32
Rightfully so, yeah.
And post trip, I feel like very grateful for the experience because honestly, I never thought I would be travelling with my family.
Does that make sense?
Like, I don't know, like it just, it was never a thing we did.
Like we just never travelled with my parents ever.
11:47
And I just never imagined them going overseas because it's just something that I never did before.
So I'm very grateful that we had that opportunity, especially now that like everyone's getting older, I'm moving overseas.
My my sisters have moved overseas.
So it was nice to have like kind of almost like that once in a not once in a lifetime, but like a one off special trip with everyone.
12:07
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, that's kind of overall a top line of the experience.
Yeah.
It's funny because like, you were meant to go for a wedding.
Yeah.
And I went for a wedding, Yeah.
And then because of the wedding cancellation or like being pushed back, it became a different trip for you.
12:23
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think we're gonna have such different views on on things.
Yes.
Yeah.
What was the dynamic like and what was the role that you played?
In terms of the dynamics on the trip, like I feel like me being the eldest, I had to take a lot of initiative and do a lot of leading.
12:41
And me and my also my cousin Jenny.
So we're both kind of the eldest daughters in our respective families.
And I think a lot of the leading fell on my shoulders because I guess we I did the itinerary and then.
Your parents were travelling with you.
12:57
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
And it was like mainly like, yeah, my immediate family travelling with us, with our three cousins.
So I felt like more responsibility in taking charge and also being in China, like I it's a completely different world.
Like they don't have cash.
It's everything's done digitally on QR codes on WeChat.
13:17
You've got to order DDS, you have to use Google Translate because we can't speak the language.
So you needed to be digitally savvy.
So my parents wouldn't be able to take the lead in those type of situations.
In Hong Kong.
They were able to because we spent actually spent three days in Hong Kong before going into China.
13:33
So they were able to like talk to people in Cantonese and everything.
But as soon as we went to China, like they were basically in the hands of us.
Yeah.
So I think the role was like eldest child did a lot of leading and I do a lot of paying as well.
With the bank.
13:50
I was basically the bank, yeah, especially when we did like group dinners, like taxis, all those big hotel expenses.
Like I had to do the payment upfront because as the elders, and I guess majority of it is my immediate family, I was paying, paying a lot.
So I guess like my parents looked to me a lot.
14:08
So like, what do we do next?
What do we do next?
Like what's next?
It was a little bit like nonstop for me and sometimes a little bit like stressful or tiring, but it wasn't too bad.
Yeah.
Because I think like when I needed a break, like I can wait to my sisters, like, can somebody just like navigate Because I'm getting a bit tired and they're like, and they'll jump in and they'll navigate.
14:28
So it's not like, was it all on me?
Like if I asked for help, they'll it would help me.
Yeah.
But I just felt like sometimes you can't control it.
You know, your control.
It's like you watching someone navigate and you're like, let me just take over.
I mean like that when I travel with Chris.
Yeah.
It's like, can you help me?
14:43
But at the end of the day, I ended up taking over anyway.
Yeah.
So that was a dynamic, but overall was good.
How about you?
Yeah.
Well, I had a really different experience because the only thing that I did for them was just book the flights.
Yeah.
As soon as, like, you know, you land in Vietnam.
15:01
It was booking the flights and the booking Grab all the time because they're not like Grab is so big now in Vietnam, whereas before you'd be calling taxis and stuff and my parents would do that.
But yeah, I think it was more the preparation in the laid up.
We booked the flights, but that's all I did, Yeah.
15:18
And then as soon as we landed in Vietnam, they just took care of everything else.
Did you feel like you were able to be like a child?
Yeah.
Literally to the point that like, they would be the ones to ask us what do you want to eat for breakfast?
Wow.
Or in Vietnam, because of where we stay, we stayed, we stayed in a hotel, but it was close to my parents old house.
15:38
And my aunties and uncles live there now.
And everyone's just taking care of you.
They, they just want to be hospitable to you.
Honestly, it's like whenever anyone comes from Australia or any other country that's not like another Southeast Asian country, you can kind of get treated like a celebrity.
Yeah.
Because they're just like, Oh my God, you're coming for Australia.
15:57
So you get treated really, really well.
So I'm really grateful for that.
Like my aunt and uncle were always asking what do you guys want to eat?
We'll order it for you.
And you don't need to go out to buy stuff because you can just it's like a massive neighbourhood so you can just tow someone.
And they'll just like go to.
Your place.
And so it kind of like was like being a kid again, you know, having the luxury of people just deciding what we're doing.
16:18
And it'd be like, I didn't get this done for me.
But my little sister, always, my mom loves getting her teeth cleaned when she goes to Vietnam because it's cheaper than.
So she will ask all of us like who wants to get their teeth cleaned?
And then my little sister was like me.
And so like, it's like they just decide the itinerary for you.
16:35
Like on this day, we're going to go here or we're going to these markets.
We need to sort out who can drive who or like what grab, like if we can order a grab.
So it's like we had no control over the itinerary.
Every day we woke up and it was either we just like chilled with family or there was something in store for us that had already been planned.
16:52
Did you enjoy that?
Yeah, because usually like you, I'm, I'm massive control freak and I jam packed my itinerary.
There's always something to do.
Whereas in Vietnam it's like you've kind of seen it all, like we've been as kids so many times and so you're really just going over to hang out with family.
17:09
And so it was quite nice, like kind of taking, you know, the load off my shoulders which I would normally have and also like slowing down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a nice thing about like being around family who lives in Vietnam or whatnot like that.
You just wake up and you just follow their agenda.
Yeah, I had a bit of that actually, because we went to Beijing for the first week and that's where we did all the touristy stuff that I was leading.
17:29
But in the second week I was with, we met up with my extended family in Shenzhen and like most of it was their itinerary, which was really nice.
Yeah.
So I got a bit of the best of both worlds, Yeah.
What was the best part and your biggest challenges?
Travelling with your family.
17:45
Best part, reuniting with all of my cousins.
So how do I describe how many cousins do I have?
Like in Australia, I don't have a big extended family because all of my mom's died is still in Vietnam.
So seeing that side of the family was so nice.
18:00
And everyone has pretty much come back to live in Vietnam.
And there were moments where like, even my cousin, who is the oldest of all of us, we were all in the same room.
We were like, you know, it's very chaotic because they were always just like, talking, laughing.
Just be Cantonese to each other.
Or yeah, yeah.
And it's just like there's like a lot of jokes involved.
18:18
Like we give like a lot of bands heart.
And I think I just didn't realise how much I missed of that as a kid.
And the last time we came back to Vietnam in 2019, a lot of people weren't around.
So it was so nice to see everyone in the same place.
18:34
There's one point or multiple points where my cousin was always like, let's take a photo, let's take a photo because like, you know, we're all here again.
And it's like it's so rare that this happens.
So I just experiencing that.
I think I didn't realise what I was.
Missing.
Yeah, like a big family festive vibe.
18:50
Right.
Yeah.
And I think it was just so lovely to also see my cousin who I grew up with get married.
He's parents or his mom has passed on and his dad like lives in a different part of Vietnam.
19:06
So he like pretty much doesn't have like parents around all the time.
And so he actually looks to my mom, who is his aunt, like his mom sister to kind of like step in and do a lot of the wedding stuff.
If we weren't there, he we, I guess like when you when you do tea ceremonies and stuff, having your family there to represent the family is a really big deal.
19:30
And if we weren't there, I think that his side would be lacking because the bride's side had a lot of family.
So it's really nice to be able to kind of like be there for him in that scenario.
And that was like a big part of why we went because I think my mom also realises that like without his mom there, it's really hard.
19:47
Yeah.
So now that she's passed on, like I think he like called her and was like, can you like come to Vietnam and kind of like step in?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like, my parents also don't know a single thing about tea ceremonies.
And it's changed so much.
And like all the traditions and stuff are like, there's so much to it.
20:03
So I think it was like a new experience for my parents as well.
So yeah, it was it was kind.
It was just so fun.
Like I think just experiencing that for the first time and for someone that is like really close.
Yeah, and I'm glad like, your parents were able to be there for your cousin as well.
That's.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
So huge milestone, not just for him, but the entire family.
20:20
And then also, like my family, meeting Chris for the first time.
Did you do any?
He went to the wedding.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
And I think like Chris is the sort of person that is like, very easily amused by things or like P he he engages with other people.
Yeah.
Really.
Well, Yeah.
And he's like a good sport about it.
20:36
And so he doesn't speak the language or anything.
So I think they found him like, really amusing.
It's like, you know, like Asian parents.
They just like not talking smack about the other person, but they'll say stuff like, Oh my God, he's so good looking.
Yeah, yeah.
Like he's so tall.
Yeah.
And it was.
Just so funny.
How did he communicate with them?
20:51
I.
Don't know.
It was just like something they're eating.
And it's just like, oh, good, good.
Yeah, you know.
Does your cousin speak English?
Yeah, he's done in English.
So like, some of my cousins can speak English, OK.
And I think Vietnamese people, just people in like Asia, they love trying to speak English.
21:07
So there was a couple of moments like that, which is really, really funny.
Yeah, it was.
It was very, very enjoyable watching them trying to interact and then.
That would have been the first time Chris travelled with your family as well, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so I feel like it was like a really good experience for him to just see like Vietnam, but if he had travelled with his friends, he'll get a completely different experience.
21:28
So he can always go back and have another experience, a more of a local experience.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think the those were the best parts and I think the biggest challenges I guess like seeing not within my family, but whenever like Vietnam comes up as a topic, I think there's a lot of just drama with like Vietnamese families and friends and stuff.
21:49
Seeing that first hand, we're just like wow, like a lot of these problems feel like trivial problems to us, but it's like actual like problems of the money and stuff in Myanm.
So I think just seeing your first hand made me feel, and I'm grateful for the life that we have in Australia.
22:05
But also it's like people like really actually struggle here, you know?
So, yeah, it's just, I know it reminded me of just how good we have it in Australia and like, how grateful for like, you know, my parents migrating over here, given that it would have been really hard for them.
22:21
And if we had stayed, like, we would have been in the same boat as these people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like the more that I travel, the more I'm like, I'm so lucky that Australia is my home.
Like to have an Australian passport and to be in a pretty safe country with a high quality of life.
Like we just got really lucky with that lottery.
22:39
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In terms of my best parts, I think my best part was definitely going back to our hometown, which we're going to do a separate episode on.
But just to tell you what happened is that my grandpa's family is from Chantal, a little province such village there.
22:58
And two of the days that we'll in Shenzhen, our extended family took us back to the hometown where my grandpa was born and where his where his parents's graves are.
And like we did a tour around the hometown and that was like, I like pretty pivotal, I think in my, for me, understanding my identity, my culture, learning more about my Chinese side of the family, brushing up on my, my digital skills.
23:25
Because in this town, everyone speaks digital, which is like really mind blowing.
Even the radio's in digital.
So it's just like very cool.
So I think that was like, definitely the best part, like going back to the hometown, meeting family for the first time and feeling quickly, so quickly accepted into the family.
23:40
Alan, my cousin mentioned he was like, he feels like his family tree just went 10X.
Yeah.
Which is like so true because it's like, wow, now we know all this family in China that we can almost call them like our home, you know?
So it was really nice.
And it was also really nice to see my parents really enjoy being in China.
23:58
Like, they loved the experience there.
And I think a part of it was they got time with my grandpa's family, and we got treated so well.
And they, like, loved China.
And, like, it was nice to see my parents, like, enjoy life because it's something like, I don't really see too much because they've always just been working my whole life and like, you know, struggling in Australia.
24:16
But it was nice to just see them on a holiday.
Yeah.
So that was probably the best part And the biggest challenges.
Like this family can sometimes be overbearing.
Yeah.
You know, you might get sick of one person, but it wasn't too bad.
But some, you know, some people's like, priorities didn't line up.
24:34
So sometimes it could be like trying to satisfy everyone will be hard and then maybe not be able to, like, switch off from the elder daughter responsibilities.
Like having to navigate every day, like do all that was sometimes a bit tiring.
But like, over what?
I don't think the challenge was too big.
24:49
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I wouldn't say those huge, big challenges, but maybe those would be those.
Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
So how were things different from what you remembered travelling with family versus travelling with family as a kid?
Yeah, well, when I was a kid, we only really just travelled to, you know, like if we think about travelling overseas.
25:10
So I don't feel like it was different in the sense that the place felt different, but it was more so like seeing things as an adult.
You notice different things.
And I think I was lucky to have had like a week where I was living in Ho Chi Minh activity as opposed to just staying with my family because then I had like a completely different trip in the sense that I didn't have my parents while there was probably still concerned, like, oh, what are you doing?
25:38
Are you OK?
And they just have this fear of like, because I think they just have seen the worst parts of Vietnam.
So they just fear that that's going to happen to you.
But I think on the flip side, I got to go to like, cafes in Vietnam.
I got to experience different areas of Ho Chi Minh City because most of the time as a kid we only went out to the city.
25:59
Yeah, once or twice.
Yes.
And it wasn't like to walk around and stuff.
It was more just to, like, sightsee.
And then you just go home, like do a loop and then you just go home.
Yeah.
But this time around, like, actually went like shopping.
Yeah, you went out with your sisters a lot too, right?
Yeah, Shops.
And stores and stuff, yeah.
26:14
And I think this fashion scene in Vietnam has changed a lot.
So my little sister and I, we have really similar tastes and stuff.
So we found certain places we wanted to go.
And with Grab, it was so much easier to go.
Whereas as a kid, if you wanted to go anywhere, you have to ask.
Someone to take you.
Someone to take you.
And I felt like I was always bothering people, even though I'm sure my my cousins and stuff would be very happy to take me.
26:37
And yeah, it was just like different that I could be so self sufficient and see different places like little boutique stores, which I'll normally enjoy going to a different city.
But yeah, I think that was like one part of it.
And then another part of it was we always stayed in the same place every time we go.
26:55
But seeing it now as an adult and seeing how much it's changed and but also how much has still stayed the same because people in Vietnam, they don't move away from a particular, they just literally just spend their entire life and they grow old in that house.
And so just seeing people who have stayed there, those are people who have moved away, Yeah.
27:16
Was interesting to see because we spent so much time as kids just playing with other kids in the neighbourhood.
And so coming back as an result, it's like, oh, like, hey, do you Remember Me?
I'm not a super social person, but my sister that we went with, she was friends with a lot of people.
Yeah.
My sister went out of her way to actually like, say hi to people we played with as kids when I was a little bit too shy.
27:35
Yeah.
So yeah, I guess like having seeing that and then having more like adult conversations with those people.
Yeah.
As a more mature person.
Yeah.
You just.
Have different?
Did your perspective on Vietnam change?
Because I remember, like, when I went to Vietnam as like a young, young kid, I was like, I hate going to Vietnam.
27:53
It's so hot.
I get mosquito bites, like there's nothing.
The toilets are dirty.
Like I remember that as a child.
But then as I grew older and then I went to Vietnam when I was a little bit older, I really appreciated Vietnam and really loved it as a country.
Yeah.
No, I don't think I was ever like fussed about being in Vietnam.
28:11
I loved it because we were always surrounded by my cousins and stuff.
So it was, it just represented fun.
And I think because we reunited this time around, it was still fun, but fun in a different way.
And, you know, when we were as kids, we would go around Vietnam and, like, you know, be on my cousin's motorbikes and stuff.
28:28
But you weren't really having deep conversations.
We were just kind of joking around and stuff.
But this time around, it was more like deep and meaningful conversations about growing up and, you know, people hitting different milestones, like my cousin getting married.
So yeah, I think the relationship between me and my cousins were really different.
28:46
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, so wholesome.
Yeah.
How about you?
Travelling this time around versus being a child was a child was a complete role reversal obviously because I had to do they're looking after, like we had to look after my parents versus my parents looking after us.
And even to that we had to pay for everything for them versus when you're a child they pay for everything.
29:05
So I think that's the big difference, yeah.
That's gonna be it actually thinking about like yeah, paying and stuff.
My parents were my bank anytime I need them buddy I.
Ask Oh my.
God, that's awesome.
Because they were like, it's, I think they just know that it's not the same as going to a bank in any other country and just getting money out.
29:25
They were like, don't do that.
Yeah, we'll get the money for you.
Yeah.
So, yeah, I was like relying on them kind of felt like we'd like, can I have some money?
Can I go shopping?
Can I go shopping?
Yeah.
It's like, how do you ask that without being interrogated on like?
What are you spending your money on?
Yeah, yeah, actually on that.
29:42
I was like, I think we paid for everything just because we had like the up cards.
Yeah, the ones with no.
Transaction fees especially, I guess it's not cash in China.
So we were the ones with the better rates and stuff like that, so we had to do all the paying.
Everything in Vietnam is still cash.
Yeah.
29:57
So, yeah.
Yeah.
Were there any funny moments from your trip?
Yes.
So many tell us we had.
So many funny moments.
And actually, that's probably the highlight of travelling with family, especially with my sisters and my cousins because like, every time the cousins are together, we always get up to really goofy stuff.
30:14
Yeah.
And like, it just reminded me how silly we can be and, like, how much fun you can have doing nothing.
Like I think the hot like all the funny moments.
So really just like stupid mundane moments.
Like we really like entertained ourselves, like there'll be dead time like waiting for stuff, but we always made a game out of something like even things like.
30:35
Who?
To shower first.
Yeah.
We every night we'll come up with a new game like fun, like 1 was just like we flipped a luggage onto its side and it was like we can flip a coin closest to the logo.
They can shower first.
Literally.
We're like, wow, we can play anywhere.
30:51
Yeah, literally anywhere.
We're waiting for like DDS and you know that TikTok game where you, like, close your eyes and March on the spot?
No.
I haven't seen this.
What?
So it's like there's a square on the ground.
You draw a square on the ground, and each person is lined up on one line.
Yeah, in their own box.
Yeah.
You shy your eyes and you March on the spot for one minute and you have to try to stay within the box.
31:11
Oh, I haven't seen this.
Yeah.
And people tend to end up like somewhere else, but you think you're you think you're still in the same spot.
Yeah.
So I'm waiting for deities.
Or there was one time it was really bad traffic and we just found tiles in the ground.
And we just started playing that game.
But how do you know you're gonna March out?
Because one person is watching that during the time.
31:27
Yeah, OK.
It's, it's really funny.
And then, like, one of my other highlights is like going to the Great War of China was so funny, like.
It seems like I just feel like it's not real.
Yeah, it's really like crazy because like, is this really the Great War of China?
Like one of the what is that?
31:43
The wonders, Wonders of the world or the ancient world or whatever.
And it's like what you hear about.
It's like going to the Eiffel Tower for the first time.
Yeah.
It doesn't feel real.
And the Great Wall of China is so big it's actually the largest man made structure in the world I think.
Wow, did you walk the whole thing?
No, you can't.
31:59
Yeah.
You kind of just go over a cable car and then you get dropped off in one of the towers and you can walk as far as you want to.
But yeah, they come back for a certain time because we went on a tour.
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah.
And what was really funny is that because these stairs are super steep, and the walk, it's like you're going downhill.
32:15
But obviously, you know, when you're going downhill, you have to come back up, right.
Because you go back to the meeting point.
Yeah.
Yeah, Yeah.
And like, all my family was there.
And, like, so my parents walked a little bit.
And then I always kind of wait here for you guys.
You guys keep going, just come back at a certain time.
And then slowly, as we progress, like more cousins and more families are like, hey, we're sitting away here like years ago.
32:33
And it ended up being me and my cousin Alan and Anna.
Yeah, they just wanted to reach this tower like they, Anna and Alan wanted to reach like the 4th tower or something like that.
And I was just like, I mean, sure, but I was just like you got.
And they're like, we're just going to walk to that tower.
We'll come back.
And then I was like, are you guys baiting me?
32:49
You're not baiting me, right.
We're not going to go any further.
Like no, no, I just walk there and come back and then like we're walking down the stairs because it's really steeped a heaps of stairs and like you can see people walking back up and they're out of breath and they're like, and then I was like at the point we just like we're not going to be like that, like we're fitter than that, like we're not going to be like that.
33:07
So we keep walking, we keep walking reached to our point and at this point the family members are message was like, you guys need to come back now because you know, it's getting tight to time.
So when I would turn back and it was like the hardest hike ever.
We were out of breath.
We would die.
Like, especially when it's cold, too.
33:25
Yeah, it was freezing, but you're like really hot and you got so many layers on, and you're literally just walking up, like such elevation.
But I'm trying to go really fast but also trying to enjoy the moment.
It was so funny.
Like the three of us were like, just like puffing and puffing and like Alan, who's my younger cousin, he was like down.
33:43
He was.
I don't know if he's listening to this like you're so unfit because like, he was he's the youngest out of all of us.
But he was like, he had to pop chewing gum to give, to give him like, motivation.
He's like, I need chewing gum.
I need chewing gum.
And then like, we reached and finally got it back.
And then we're like, OK, we need to like, take a moment here and like refresh and like, pretend the hike was so easy.
34:04
Yeah.
So I thought it was just so funny that we had the experience.
And then on the Great Wall, another thing that was really funny was that like some of my cousins, they were looking out at a vantage point and they were on the map and they thought they were looking at Mongolia.
I don't know why, but they were on the map and they were just like, yeah, literally they're looking back.
34:25
Oh, yeah, that's Mongolia.
I think that building is Mongolia.
I think they were having this conversation for like 15 minutes because I joined a bit later and I could see them like I joined them as they confirmed they were like, Yep, that's Mongolia.
And there's this guy sat sitting next to on the wall.
And as they concluded, he was like, guys, that's not Mongolia.
34:44
This is stupid.
Yeah.
And he's like, he was a guy from Kazakhstan.
Like.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And he was like, he was like, yes, Mongolia is in that direction, but you would not be able to see Mongolia.
How did your your cousin?
Respond It was I think it was just like, oh, it's just so embarrassing, but it was just so funny because I was like, this guy sat there listened to you guys for 15 minutes, like concluding that you guys were looking at Mongolia and he's just sitting here like that's not Mongolia.
35:13
But it was nice because like this guy was so nice and we actually learned a lot about his country and everything afterwards.
So that was funny.
So many moments.
Another moment that's really embarrassing for me is that I thought, so in Beijing, we had like a hotel with laundry services and we did laundry every night.
35:30
And then one night we were like putting our laundry.
They gave the laundry back and they were putting it back.
And then my cousin and I was like, Tracy, where's your jeans?
Because she was hanging out like she was falling her jeans.
And she's like, oh, did your jeans come back or where's your jeans or something?
And I was like, oh, where is my jeans?
And then come back from the wash.
Yeah.
So then I, it was really late at night, so I had to go to the front desk and they don't really speak good English.
35:48
Only one did and she wasn't there.
So I had to use Google Translate and tell this guy who's like the manager in a suit and everything, He, I was like, my blue jeans didn't come back from the wash.
And he was, he was like, so he was just like so distressed, right?
Oh my God.
And then I was like, yeah.
And then he was like, oh, like, I'm so sorry.
36:05
Like this never happens.
We normally do laundry like one by one.
We would never mix them together.
So I don't know why it would be missing.
And he's like, I'm so sorry.
Today was a really busy day, so maybe something happened.
Let me take you with me to the laundry room to see if it's in there.
So it takes me downstairs to this like basement level and the ceiling is like literally out height.
36:23
Like you kind of got ducked out a bit and there's like 4 washing machines going on and he opens them one by one each one.
Yeah, 24 jeans.
And like the first three are on their dry mode, so it's fine, right.
So he open his pauses, it take some water out into a basket and I'm like Oh no, sorry, that's not in there.
36:39
Next one, I'm like so sorry, it's not in there.
And the third one, sorry, it's not in there.
It was a fourth washing machine and he just stopped at the third one and he was like, OK, it's not here.
And I was like oh, what about the fourth washing machine?
And then he's Oh yeah, OK, let's check that.
But I didn't realise it was on wash.
That's what happened.
So he stopped it on wash and took all the clothes down.
36:56
It was just like water everywhere, soapy clothes and water everywhere, puddling on the ground.
And he had to kneel down to like, look at all this and he's like a man in a suit.
And he was like getting wet.
And the floor was getting wet.
And I was sitting here like, oh, man, like, it's not going to be in here.
Like.
37:13
And I could tell like he was like, he feels so bad and I feel so bad.
And I was like, oh, my God.
And I was like, I'm so sorry.
It's not in here.
And he had to put it back.
And he was so be like and then had to like walk the ground and he's automated stuff lunchroom.
Like we just start lunch of checking and he's Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
37:28
It's not here.
Like it's getting really late now.
Like let me check again tomorrow.
That's two hours, a really busy day.
Let's try again tomorrow.
And I was like, OK, no stress.
And he was like, oh, but like, can you just double check your room to make sure it's not in there?
And.
I was like, yeah, I've already.
Checked.
But like I can check again.
So I come back into the room.
I was like to my family, it's gone.
37:44
I don't know where my jeans is.
And then someone was like, can you just check your luggage?
Like just check if it's in there.
And I open my luggage and I see it just rolled out.
Why didn't?
Your cousin think that you wash your jeans?
38:00
No, I think she didn't think I washed it.
I did wash it, but I washed the night before.
And I think if she was like putting her Jean away and we both just was like, hey, where's my Jean?
You know, like it wasn't like your jeans missing.
It was just kind of like we mentioned the jeans.
Oh, wait, my jeans didn't come back.
And I imagine I opened it just a little bit.
I saw the thing.
I shut my thing immediately.
38:16
I thought, oh, God, I'm gonna go, God.
And my cousin and I was like, what is it?
Is it in there?
Show me.
Open it now and show me.
And I thought, no, I can't.
I can't.
And she's like, open it right now.
And then I opened it.
It's like literature there, folded all nicely in my luggage already.
And I was like, I can't tell the guy because he was like so bad about it.
38:32
He was like, oh, my God, this never happened.
I'm so sorry.
Oh.
My God, like So what did you end up doing?
I had to make him a lie and I had to come back.
She's like, you have to go tell him.
But and I was like, I can't tell him that I just found it in my luggage.
So I had to make him a lie and I'm like, oh, I found it.
My sister had my jeans and he's like, oh, oh, thank God.
38:48
Like this never happened.
So I was very strange.
It was just so embarrassing, but just like a funny moment like.
Just so stupid.
Just felt ridiculous.
Right.
Yeah.
I was just like, yeah, no, yeah.
Just like silly things happen, I think when the family's together.
But yeah, those are some of my highlights anyways.
39:05
How about?
You initially, I didn't think that I had as many as you, but thinking about it now, I actually have a couple.
Yeah, at my cousin's wedding, They have He had.
He's a very big NBA fan.
OK so that a kiss Cam.
Wedding.
Yeah, that is the whole family.
39:21
Yeah.
It was really big.
Like yeah, weddings are extremely massive.
So there was like. 200 plus people there.
Yeah.
And it was like a kiss Cam.
Oh my God.
What?
And he had nominated people to like, for the people to find them on the camera.
And he told them what table they're sitting on and stuff.
39:39
Yeah.
And then, like, you know, at first he was like, so funny because he's like nominating all these, like Vietnamese couples, like people we don't really know.
And suddenly it was Chris and I.
No.
And then we were just like, OK, I guess we have to.
It wasn't like once.
It was twice.
39:55
Yeah.
It really stitched you up.
Yeah, I was.
Like cool, cool, cool, cool, cool because it was on the big screen.
It was on the big screen.
Is that the first time your parents were you guys kisses?
Yeah, I guess so.
It was just like a Peck on the lips.
Yeah, but it was just like, I didn't expect it to be asked like I was like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:11
Yeah.
And then yeah, it happened to us.
And I was like, oh, that's.
So funny.
That is such a crazy idea.
Yeah, it's, it's actually a really good idea because at first it was just like, you know, like older Vietnamese couples and they like, got really shy.
Oh, that's cute.
Yeah, I guess it's like they were like, OK, like, fine.
40:28
No, that's like cute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, well, we're just like so happy with that.
And suddenly it was us.
So you had no feeling that was gonna be you guys?
At all?
No.
Yeah, We had no idea.
Yeah.
But it was just so funny.
Like, because it's a bit chaotic.
It's like the cameraman has to find you and there's so many people walk.
40:43
Around everything, you're fine.
Yeah, or like they're on the tripod and they're just like trying to zoom in.
Yeah, it's just like, so kind of how do you know who, who is it?
I think they tell you told them what table they're sitting on and then like which seat?
Oh, right.
Yeah, yeah, or something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
But I was just like, that's so funny.
40:59
Like, oh, it's not gonna happen to us.
And you just see the camera moving chaotically and something was.
Awesome.
Oh my God.
Yeah, like, OK, that's funny.
Yeah, it's probably one of the funnier moments.
Yeah.
But I'm sure there was like a lot of like, fans with my cousins and stuff.
Oh, actually, one more Chris and I went on like a spontaneous trip, like to oh God, I forgot where it was.
41:21
It was just like to the Mekong River.
OK, We watched in real time.
A matchmaking situation.
I don't.
Think I've told you about this, OK.
So on this trip, not our particular bus, another trip, another bus, but they just were kind of combined with us.
So we're going to the same places.
41:37
There was this think an American guy and he was like travelling with his mum.
It didn't really make sense because his mom didn't really look like his mom.
She was Asian and he was white, so I was really.
Confused.
Yeah, all the craziest stuff that happens on a travel that never happens in Australia.
41:53
Yeah, the shoot that you just win.
And she's just like, wait, what is happening right now?
Yeah, it's like right in front.
Of my eye.
Everything's so entertaining.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, love that.
OK, So what did you learn from travelling with your family again?
I feel like, and one thing was like my dad knows how to ride a motorbike because it was obviously growing up there, he rode a motorbike heaps.
42:14
My mom doesn't know how to.
So he's kind of the chauffeur when we ride around and go places and stuff.
And I think I've just noticed just how old he's getting and he's like, I guess like mannerisms are not as.
Quick.
Yeah, because I think in Vietnam, like when you ride a motorbike, you have to have very quick reactions.
42:32
Yeah.
And there was just one time we were moving hotels and the way to move is like you just put the luggage on the mobile.
I was with my dad, I put the luggage on the mobile and I was literally holding the luggage behind him.
And I was like, this kind of feels really upset.
But he was getting like really tired from doing it because it was really hot as well.
42:49
And I think I just noticed just how much he's aged and it's just not the same like him travelling again.
And like, same with my mom and I could see that she was just like, tired.
Some days they can't like, go as fast as like they used to.
So yeah, I think it's just like realising how much they've aged and even in their home country they can't do.
43:08
As much as they used to.
Yeah, Yeah.
But I think also letting go of control in this trip because it was not really like a trip to be planned.
Yes, I realised a lot about how I like to travel and how much control I like to have over like, you know, where I want to go, what I want to do.
43:27
And this taught me, I guess, like not being in control helped me clarify what are the things that I love about travelling and the style of travelling I like.
Yeah.
But other than that, I don't think I learned much about like, being with my family.
Like, I think it was just like what I expected.
Yeah.
Yeah.
43:43
That's.
It would there be any lessons that you would take out of that?
Like would you change anything?
Or I think it's, it was really lovely to just travel with no expectations of myself.
I could just like chill out and properly take a break and just like rest.
43:59
It wasn't like every day had a new jam packed agenda.
And I think making time for that was a trip like that in a year is like really good for just unwinding and disconnecting.
But I think when I came back I was like, oh, I'm pretty exhausted from travelling with family.
44:15
It's almost like you need a holiday from the holiday.
Yeah, same way when I came back, I went from trying with my family.
I was like, I don't have to see my cousins anytime soon.
Yeah, yeah, you need a little bit of like physical distance.
Yeah, you need, you need a bit of a break, you know, Yeah.
How about you?
44:32
I think same with you.
I learned the importance of just letting things go and going with the flow and like I already kind of went into the point like into the trip with that in mind.
I know like my parents can be overbearing.
I know sometimes my cousins can be annoying, like I could clash on my sisters, stuff like that.
44:47
But like I was just like went into the trip going just let go of control, like take it like a wave, the wave hits you, you recover, the wave will go out again.
You know, like I was generally just like let go control and just like let things happen.
I knew there was no point in getting angry or annoyed.
45:03
Like I, I think I did pretty well with just being Zen.
And I remember my sisters and I having conversations as well, like when they would get annoyed at my parents or annoyed at my dad.
I'm like.
Just let it go.
Just let it go then.
You're not, you're never going to change the way they are.
Yeah, they're not.
They're not going to change.
So just don't let that impact you.
45:19
Just like like sometimes you just take it as noise, like let it happen and then just move on from it.
So that's kind of the biggest learning is that like there's a lot of value in just going with the flow.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, yeah.
And I think it's also like realising that like you have very different expectations of travelling to your parents because of just like how little they've seen in comparison to you.
45:44
And yeah, the opportunities they've had to like travel as well versus like what you've had to kind of like being able to see across different places.
Exactly, Yeah, Yeah.
Like for me, like this trip, I really wanted them to have a good time.
I mean, that was kind of my priority.
Like it's my first, my parents first time travelling overseas in a very, very, very long time.
46:01
So like I was kind of more the priority was like to make sure everyone else had a good time because I was like, I don't really mind if I don't have the trip that I want to have, Yeah.
Yeah, I actually also learned a lot about just like what goes into a wedding in Vietnam.
46:17
Like it's just like there's a lot of customs and traditions and like I thought my parents would know a lot about it, but even they were like so long.
Yeah.
Because it's like a multi day thing.
And then you go to like, you know, there's rules about how to invite families over when they can see the bride and stuff and like.
46:36
Who comes up with these things though?
Yeah, it's, it's a very, very elaborate.
And then like all the different expectations they have of like each other's families and stuff like that and like the things they have to do, like doll games.
And everything.
Like that.
We still do that here, but it's almost like we've shrunk it down.
46:53
Yeah, we have.
Yeah.
Minimal, modern.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think seeing that was very, very, yeah interesting.
It was like a learning experience for me.
Were there any like rituals or things that happened that you didn't expect or like we didn't, we don't do here in Australia.
That surprised you?
No, I think we still do it to a certain degree.
47:11
So I think like we do it in a way that symbolises the same thing.
So, you know, like the groom going to all the bride's family, going to the groom's family to pick him up and then pray and everything and then go to the bride's place to like accept her essentially.
47:26
It's all, it's all pretty much the same, but I think it's just done at a bigger scale.
Yeah.
And I think like they give red pockets to everyone for even just like if you come to a certain thing, you get like all the guests.
Yeah, the small red pocket for showing up or if you're playing the games, you get a red pocket.
47:43
It's it's almost like a thank.
You is there a wishing well anymore when you still give money as a gift?
Huh.
No, because in the tea ceremony like your.
Family, you give gold.
And you give gold and stuff, right?
Yeah.
So that that's the other thing, like here, I think we just do red pockets and you serve tea.
48:00
But over there, it's like every both sides of the family.
So particularly for my cousin, who's the groom.
He had like, each one of my aunties and uncles come up, sit down, he serves him tea and they have to give gold.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there's a lot to it.
48:15
Yeah.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Did travelling with family change your relationship then?
Yeah, I think he did in a more subtle way.
I would say.
Like, like I was saying it was really nice to see my parents travel as adults and, like, be their own person.
48:32
Does that make sense?
Sometimes you see your parents in the context of, like, being a mom, being a dad and like being at home working and whatnot, but like, to see them, like, travelling and, like, get excited over things, actually enjoy, like, cultural things and food and stuff like that.
Like, I think I actually learned more about who they were as people.
48:49
Yeah.
Like, I learned about their preferences, their personalities, more like them as individual people and what they liked and what they didn't like.
So I think that was like, kind of nice to see my parents as humans.
Yeah.
And not as, like, parents, you know?
So that was really nice.
And I did feel like I got closer.
49:05
I think my immediate family unit felt closer maybe because we knew that my sisters were moving, like going back to Japan, moving to Japan right after that trip.
And like, I was going to go to London.
So like, I was very conscious that this would probably be our last time together as a family for a very long time.
49:23
So I think like, I really spent a lot of quality time with them.
We had a lot of like, conversations, like quality conversations.
And I never talked to my parents in that way.
You know, when you're home, you kind of take them for granted.
It's just like, what's for dinner, what time you're coming home, like that type of vibe.
But like being overseas will enjoy food together, like be like interested in the same things and like talking to our relatives together.
49:44
So it was kind of nice to just be like friends with my parents.
Yeah.
And have like more quality conversations.
So it's just much better than I expected.
And then the last thing is, like, going back to our hometown as a family, I think really enriched my relationship with my family because we got to share this experience of, like, reconnecting with our roots together.
50:05
So yeah, I think it was a very special trip.
Yeah, yeah.
No, it sounds so unique and like you just had to be there to experience.
Yeah.
Like I didn't expect it to happen like that because I didn't really expect too much about China and the trip.
And also I really loved China.
Like China was amazing.
50:21
Maybe it talks about like maybe.
Yeah, it's so.
It's so underrated.
Like it's such a fun place to go and everyone's so nice.
The food's great, Our culture is amazing, but yeah, so yeah, it was awesome.
And like, I'm glad it happened.
Like it felt like all the right things happen at the right time at the right place for us to have this experience.
50:40
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah.
What about you?
I.
Think really different to you because my parents were in their home country so they can leave they don't really need to rely on us for anything literally like they were just off doing their own yeah they just left us our own devices.
50:55
So if anything, I think like we spent a lot of time with my cousins and that meant that like we could really develop that relationship with them.
Like we end up having like a chat.
We were like sending voice notes and stuff, which is like really, really cute because I don't normally communicate with my cousins when we're back in Australia.
51:14
And we would normally just hear about how they're doing through my parents.
So this time around, like I think the conversation is still going, like we just said happy New Year to them the other day.
So it's like having reigniting that relationship with them again and kind of building on that because it's very different to when we were kids because like I had a lot of older cousins and we were almost too young to be able to relate to them.
51:36
And now it's like now that we're adults, we can have like deep conversations.
Like I had a really good conversation with one of my older cousins just about like, you know, she's one of the almost like leaders in the cousins.
So she, you know, carries all the responsibility into her shoulders.
51:52
So I think just hearing more so about her and her relationship with my mom and stuff like that was, yeah, very eye opening.
Yeah.
So I learned a lot about just like, more my extended family as opposed to my, like, immediate family.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So yeah.
52:07
That's nice.
Would you do anything different in the future if you could travel again with your family?
My last trip in 2019, actually, we actually visited a lot of new areas with my family.
We did like tours.
So we did like the name.
What else did we do?
52:23
Hoya and everything.
So I want to do that again with my parents.
Like we've never been to North Finland.
I don't know if my parents want to go.
I really want to go.
But there's parts of Vietnam which they haven't visited before.
So I would really love to be, you know, I would love to suggest to go somewhere with them because I think then we can have new experiences together.
52:43
Yeah.
Yeah.
Similar to how you did in China.
Yeah.
But yeah, we just stayed in like Jolin together.
And I think we normally just get really bored to the words, the end.
And so I think I would love to be able to see more of.
Their home country, but I know, like, that it will be a new experience, like travelling as tourists in their home country almost.
53:00
Yeah.
What about you?
Actually don't think I would change too much if we were to travel again because I think because we were so aware of like worst case scenario, I think I was just so prepared to be travelling with my parents and like expecting it to go to shits and to be chaotic that like I think we planned for it in advance.
53:19
Like the pace was really good.
We only went to two big major cities for two weeks.
Like when I wake in each place, the pace was really good.
The only thing that maybe I would change is like no overnight flights.
That's like way too tiring.
Maybe I wouldn't also book in Hong Kong.
We stayed in at Airbnb where everyone, all eight of us, were in one one place.
53:38
That's crazy.
One shower, one place, everyone was in bunk beds and everything like that was a bit intense.
So I think maybe like the hotel route with like separate apartments, like grouping people up like 442222, like they'll probably be a bit easier to say we're going to have a break from each other.
And the last thing I would say is that to enhance the trip, maybe like before the trip, it would be nice for us to like, understand what my parents like to do.
54:00
Yeah.
Because we kind of just assumed because I kept on saying, oh, we'll just follow your itinerary.
Like we'll just do what you guys want to, what you guys want to do.
We'll just follow you around.
But like if they were to be able to tell us like, oh, we like cultural stuff, we want to try shopping and stuff like that, then maybe we could have built that itinerary more to cater them.
54:15
Yeah, but it's so hard though, because, you know, like Asian parents do that reverse psychology where they're like, anything is fine.
It's like when you get them presents, they're like no, no, no.
No, Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's OK.
Too expensive.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
Too expensive, but it's like secretly they just like they appreciate it.
Yeah, yeah.
54:30
That's true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's hard, the same thing for me.
So it's just hard to get that.
Out, yeah, it would be hard to get out, but it's like most of we learn stuff whilst we're travelling, what they really enjoyed, like when they wanted to keep walking when they want to take a break.
So it's like, OK, this is what they like.
Yeah.
Last question, do you have any tips for people travelling with their parents as adults?
54:49
Not many from this like trip in particular because my parents were just like in the element, you know.
But I think thinking back to when they visited me in in France, completely foreign country, I think like I realised that it just it's really hard for people of that age to keep going and travelling like young people.
55:12
And, you know, we're we're still pretty like young.
But I think even I have realised that in order to truly enjoy something, you need to stay in a place like longer, but also go at a pace where you can like take breaks, spend longer in some place, not try and like hit too many places.
Because I think I made that mistake.
55:27
And it just when people are tired, they get frustrated at a child.
Oh yeah.
And it just kills the moon.
Yeah.
So you need to kind of like, think about not just enjoyment, but also like time pacing and how that would impact someone else's like, emotion.
That's true.
55:42
That's a really good point.
Yeah, yeah, like almost like share the burden a little bit.
As well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How about you?
My biggest thing is, like, you can't be selfish when you're travelling with your parents and your family and, like, honestly, you just want to let go of everything you want to do.
Yeah.
And like, be OK with that.
55:59
And I think like, for me, it was important to like, keep in mind that like when my parents are getting older, like, I don't know how many more opportunities they have to travel, especially with the family.
So like, I wanted to prioritise their enjoyment over anything else.
So that was a tip that I would give to people is like, you can't be selfish.
56:14
You kind of need let go of that control.
Like you said, you need to travel at a slower pace.
Like, don't expect to do so much in a day.
Like, keep your expectations and your ambitions are very low.
Like go to one place, you know that things will take longer than you think because like you need a building breaks, people need to rest, people need to go find the toilet.
56:34
Like you can't really be on a time crunch.
And then one thing that really helped was like setting up expectations with my family before each day because because we're chatting with a big group.
So like before each day, if there's a big day coming up, I would like tell them this is what we're doing.
56:49
This is when we're having lunch, this is when we're waking up.
This is how we're going to communicate like WeChat or like Facebook whatnot.
So that way they're like not complaining on a day because I've already told you what to expect.
Do you have any concerns?
We're going to talk about it, but it's just like prepping them mentally for the date that's to come.
57:06
And then actually that another place of tip or advice I would say is that like look out for your siblings and your other family members and like take turns dealing with the pressure or, or, or the like, you know, the stress of dealing with your parents.
Yeah.
Like especially for me when I have two, when I have like two sisters and like to be fair, they stayed with my parents majority of the time in terms of like accommodation wise.
57:27
So they probably got the brunt of like, you know, when your parents are so in your face.
Yeah.
And they, yeah, they're just in your space.
Like they wake you up when you're sleeping, like all that stuff, like, but I could tell when my sisters were getting tired.
So then like, you try to like, take the burden off it and like, give them space between the parents and themselves and like, vice versa.
57:48
So it's just like watching out for your family members.
If someone's tired, like, help out, you know, do the best you can anyway.
Yeah, no, for sure.
Yeah, probably good tips.
Well, stay tuned for our Part 2 to this, which is going to be more about like, what was it like connecting to the motherland as adults and kind of, I guess more of a cultural.
58:07
Perspective, yeah.
Reflecting on culture, how it's changed our identity, like for that jazz.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, didn't have a question.
Great.
What's the story?
Behind your phone wallpaper.
OK, my phone wallpaper is Baron Beach maybe?
58:26
It was a noosa.
No, it's not a Noosa.
Oh.
It's very pretty.
What is this?
Oh, it's in, it's in Newcastle.
OK.
It's a, it's a sunset photo of a beach in Newcastle, I think.
And all my Wallpapers tend to be of water and the beach because it reminds me of, like, just serenity.
58:42
Yeah.
And I love sunset photos because, like, like when I'm looking at a sunset by the water, I always feel like the most at peace.
So I like just having that vibe around me.
Yeah, finally my my wallpaper is at the beach as well.
Yeah, but it's a one of the.
First pictures I took on my.
58:58
Fuji camera, Yeah.
Of Chris and Ringo running into the water.
Cute, yeah.
So it's it's got like beautiful, like colouring and everything yeah.
But whenever I look at it, it just makes me feel like I'm looking into, like, the life that we've built together.
Yeah.
And it's like, really nice because it's just like we felt that was Ringo's first birthday as well.
59:17
And so it's like he's a dog, but it almost feels like we have a child.
Yeah.
You know, and basically do have a child.
Yeah, essentially.
But yeah, it makes me feel like those are more of the sorts of days that I want to have.
Yeah.
It makes me feel like free and serene and like happy that this is like our life.
59:33
Yeah, that's so cute.
OK.
Second question, if you had to pick a job pre industrial revolution, what would it be?
Oh.
Gosh, this is hard.
Did I ask this question or did you ask this question?
No, you wrote this question.
I'm so creative.
This question.
59:50
Oh my God, I'm so creative.
Yeah, I would love to be like an artist, like a Picasso.
Oh, OK.
A bone A OK.
OK.
Yeah, I like that.
I say this because I recently went to the Picasso exhibit that's part of the Hakone's Urban Air Museum.
1:00:11
And as a kid, you learn a lot about his artworks, but you just learn about it in his Cubism era.
Yeah.
And a few other eras are full of the name of.
But he had such a colourful life.
Yeah.
And I just feel like as an artist, in that time, you could live such a crazy life and you're just waiting to see where it takes you.
1:00:33
Yeah.
Because you don't know how, when and how you're gonna make it.
But it's like it all it takes is just like one painting or 1 artwork and someone to take a chance and, yeah, to discover you.
And he just travelled to a lot of different countries in Europe because of that.
Yeah.
I'm like, wow, I can't imagine a life like that now.
1:00:49
Wow.
Because.
It's like you're truly just following your passion and he was like living in poverty at some point as.
Well, in order to.
Really, truly like, reach his ambition in his dreams.
Wow.
OK.
Yeah, wow, That's a very like scholarly answer.
It's.
OK if you don't have one.
1:01:07
I was thinking about like ancient times, like I was like, I reckon I'd be like a farmer, a good farmer or like, I don't know, like something with hands on where I'm just doing 1 action repetitively.
Like I don't know, like a vegetable farmer or something like that.
Like that.
1:01:23
I just want to be out, out and about in the open.
Maybe like a sell fruit at a vegetable, no?
Yeah, I'm, I'm imagining like a mini harvest market.
You're harvesting my fruits and like or veggies and selling it in like a market or something but like.
And you just like in rags.
Yeah.
And like in like, do they have horses back then, like riding a horse, No.
1:01:42
It's like the horse pulling your carriage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm all like me carrying a car around.
Like very meant mundane.
Yeah, I'm just running mundane and like hands on repetitive action.
OK, last question, what is one shop you always have to walk in when you see it?
1:02:02
A bookstore maybe?
Oh yeah.
Like I always like, like walking into like bookstores, like concept store.
Oh, stationary.
If there's a stationary store, then I'll have to unless, yeah, like a nice stationary store.
Yeah.
Yeah, I probably always have to walk into that.
Yeah, Yeah.
I don't have a specific brand or anything, but those type of stores like book shops, stationary designee shops, yeah, yeah.
1:02:23
A tooth.
Or a thrift shop.
Oh yeah, yeah a thrift shop yeah I feel like a thrift shop really does pique your curiosity cuz yeah I never know what's in there yeah yeah I wanna be basic and say it.
I always walk into Luna Lemon.
Really.
1:02:38
Yeah.
Every time I see Luna Lemon, I just.
Nothing changes in there though, it's always the same clothes.
But I don't see it often enough for me too cuz I don't really work in a CV.
True, true, true.
SO I think if I did walk passe every day, I would go.
Wouldn't go in every day.
But yeah, I'm always just curious, like what's new?
1:02:54
Yeah.
Because I like investing in their pieces.
Yeah.
That or like Uniqlo.
Uniqlo is a good one, yeah.
Because Uniqlo I feel like changes quite often and I like.
Looking at like their T-shirts as well because it's cool artwork and stuff.
Just like to look, yeah.
Yeah, I don't always buy something, but yeah, it would be those.
1:03:09
Two Well, even like an Asian snack store.
A grocery.
Store.
Oh yeah, actually, yes, yeah.
Always going to grocery stores for no reason.
I love.
That, Yeah.
Great, great.
Well, that is the end of our episode.
Stay tuned for our next one where we talk about reconnecting with our motherland.
1:03:24
That should be a really wholesome episode, Very introspective.
But thank you, everyone for tuning in and see you in the next one.
Bye.